To choose means to turn ourselves into the future … choosing helps us create our lives. We make choices and are in turn made by them. Science can assist us in becoming more skillful choosers, but at its core, choice remains an art. To gain the most from it, we must embrace uncertainty and contradiction. It does not look the same to all eyes, nor can everyone agree on its purpose. Sometimes choice pulls us to itself, other times it repels us. We use it without exhausting it, and the more we uncover, the more we find still hidden. We cannot take full measure of it. Therein lies its power, its mystery, and its singular beauty.”
~ Sheena Iyengar in the “The Art of Choosing”
Based on the recommendation of a friend, I read “The Art of Choosing” by Sheena Iyengar who is a professor at the Columbia Business School and is an expert on the subject of choice. Her book explores how we make decisions and how the process can in turn be influenced by religion, culture, the number of choices available etc. For example, she uses her parents – who had an arranged marriage – as a way to show that in certain cultures it is perfectly acceptable for the parents to decide for their children who they should marry. The children themselves have no choice or say in the matter. This of course wouldn’t fly with any white American person. Choice can also be affected by number. Turns out that too many choices isn’t a good thing as it leaves people confused.
She also gives tips on how we can train ourselves to make better decisions. For example, we can get a financial advisor to help us sift through the plethora of financial products. Or we can categorise things to make the number of choices more manageable.
Her writing style is personable and accessible to the average reader. I enjoyed the book as it made me think about how I make and have made decisions for my life. Indeed, our choices shape our lives. If I hadn’t left Singapore and explored the world, I wouldn’t have had the experiences I’ve had and met the friends I’ve made outside of Singapore. Conversely, if I had stayed in Singapore, I might still be a textbook editor (horrors!). In choosing to be a hermit as opposed to making the effort to socialise more, I’m dooming myself to a lonely existence. But really, it’s just so much easier to just chill out on my own.
Choice means giving up something for another. Indeed, as Iyengar has written, it’s something we cannot take full measure of. For you will never be able to find out how things would truly have turned out if you had opted for that very thing you have chosen to give up.
