On Tuesday 23 May, I was informed via a Whatsapp message from an aunt in Singapore that her mum, i.e. my grandaunt, had passed away. It came as a shock to all as my grandaunt was only 76. In this day and age, 76 is not considered that old. But sadly, she had to undergo emergency surgery to remove a blood clot in an artery that supplied blood to her legs and she just went downhill following the surgery.

My grandaunt, or “Com Por” (妗婆) as what I used to address her in Cantonese, took care of me and my sister when we were babies till we were in our teens. Back then, my parents would take me, my sister and Twiggy (our white miniature poodle) to my grandaunt’s home in Geylang every weekday morning. After dropping the three of us there, they would go off to work. So we spent a lot of time with my grandaunt and her family, and they doted on us. Com Por took me to and from nursery and kindergarten, cooked for us, bathed us, and even sewed clothes for us.

The dish that I enjoyed most was her signature chilli chicken (辣椒雞). It was chicken stewed in a chilli gravy filled with shallots and garlic. I would always dump a lot of rice in the gravy and slurp up all the rice. I also remember helping her peel the skins of the sweet potato leaf stems and she would then stir-fry the sweet potato leaves. My sister also liked Com Por’s assam fish and prawn noodles (蝦麵). Even after we grew up, she would always ask her what we wanted to eat when we visited and we would always request for chilli chicken. And every time we visited her, she would give us an angbao (紅包 red packet filled with money for good luck and well wishes)

Last September, my aunts and uncle brought my grandaunt to Hong Kong for a holiday. I’m glad I managed to spend some time with them as I was still working in Hong Kong back then. I brought them around my neighbourhood, had a few meals with them and also brought Com Por to my home in Hong Kong. I’m glad she got a glimpse of my life in Hong Kong. When I was back in Singapore in December 2016, the last time I saw Com Por was on Christmas Day. I didn’t think that would be the last time I would see her.

Com Por left us all too suddenly and she will be dearly missed by her family. I flew out on Thursday and arrived back in Singapore on Thursday 25 May. When I touched down, I saw a Whatsapp message from my uncle asking if either my sister or myself would like to deliver a eulogy for my grandaunt. My aunts and uncle didn’t think they would be able to control their emotions and so asked the both of us. My sister said she probably wouldn’t be able to hold her tears too. I decided I would do it as I thought that was the least I could do, and it wouldn’t be right to not have one for her. So I spent Thursday night drafting the eulogy, one to be delivered in Cantonese (the language my Com Por understood and spoke best and the language I always spoke to her in) and another one to be delivered in English. While delivering the eulogy, I choked up a few times but still managed to get through it.

I regret not taking more photos with Com Por and so this is something to keep in mind with the people around me from now on. Just take pictures whenever and wherever to capture those moments and memories.

I believe Com Por is now in a peaceful place watching over her loved ones. And while I’m not a religious or spiritual person, I would like to believe that one day we will meet again in the spiritual realm.

Goodbye Com Por. We love you and we will miss you.