Feminists and maybe some of my single friends will balk at me for saying this, but I'm really sick of singlehood.
I'm sick of turning up at parties and gatherings alone. I'm sick of being surrounded by couples. I'm sick of having to deal with things by myself. I'm sick of going on holidays alone. 'Cos you see, after awhile a nice place just becomes another nice place with no apparent significance when you have no one to share the moment with. I'm sick of being on my own.
Why is that it seems so easy for others to find that special someone yet for me, climbing Mt Everest seems to be an easier task – at least I know it's something I can train for and I can control.
Perhaps I'm really just unattractive to the opposite sex. Not pretty enough. Not thin enough. Not gentle enough. Or maybe I'm just too fussy. But you see, although I want to settle down, I don't want to settle. The former's about making a commitment whilst the latter a compromise.
I haven't been on a date in a million light years. I miss the whole process of preparing for a date – the fussing over what clothes, shoes and earrings to wear, the few butterflies in the stomach, and the anticipation of an evening ahead with a, hopefully interesting, man. I miss being treated like a woman. I miss being a woman.
Sick Of Singlehood – yes, that's me.
Posted by DSD at March 8, 2008 12:06 AMYou can lookit (and get looked at by) pathetic 36-year-old uncles at http://match.sg.msn.com
Or you can join okstupid, eh I mean, okcupid and have meaningful online conversations with younger version of pathetic uncles.
N/N?
Posted by: auntie h at March 8, 2008 3:25 AMYou know.. i felt like you .. many moons ago.. and i settled.. for less. And of course regretted it big time. After 10 yrs invested.. i got out.. and luckily found the love of my life .. online.. and we spoke for 6 yrs.. online.. and we have been together.. for 8 yrs now.. excluding the online time... but if you add that .. we would have known each other for 14yrs.
There is hope.. hang in there.
pls read my blog to read my point of view on this matter. it should be up by tomorrow.
Posted by: jaja at March 9, 2008 12:18 AMThe person reading over my shoulder said 'every relationship is a compromise'. I'm not sure what to make of that :)
And what's so bad about 36?
Posted by: joe at March 9, 2008 12:18 AMYeah listen to all those bitter feminists and worry about what they think about you. And continue being single.
Seriously, this is the best post I've read in this blog ever. Good for you girl!
Who wants to hang out with girlfriends and be single at age 40? It's cool when you are a swinging 25 and sad when you are 45.
Singlehood is contagious. I see so many single girls out on friday nights in groups at the best restaurants bitching about the lack of men, or pretending to be happy because "they've got great girlfriends."
Just go hang out with more guys. Ganbatte!
Awww... a girlfriend once told me that this is something you have to work at it, just like making friends. But then again, its always hard for me to make friends.
I don't have any advice for you but the dear friend who told me this worked hard at it. For years. She asked friends to set her up, doggedly went on horrible dates with guys, put up her profile for online dating and even dated a few real losers, just to see if there was something else. She's just found someone through the online channel... its tentative and new at the moment but she's happy.
Its hard being out there...
Cheer up, and go buy yourself some kick ass lingerie, the sexiest, most scandalous you can get. That way, you'll be ready when you stumble across someone worthy of a peek.
Posted by: Sui Mai at March 10, 2008 7:09 PMHi dimsumdolly, please don't despair - you'll find someone nice because you're so nice! It will happen when you least expect it, though - it sounds like a cliche but it's true, it happened to me.
hugs from HK.
susan
Posted by: susan in HK at March 11, 2008 12:23 PMAww dear girl, I totally feel you. But I need to make a correction. You ARE attractive and you will find someone who appreciates you for who you are. Take your time but you have to put in the effort. Make new friends and tell your friends to hook you up with their guy friends. You will find someone.
Posted by: Skinny Epicurean at March 11, 2008 4:27 PMThanks for all your words everyone!
Posted by: DSD at March 13, 2008 10:14 AMI totally understand what you mean. I am so sick of it too.
Posted by: Fatgirl at March 16, 2008 1:58 AMTwo things:
1. If you want a life partner, you WILL find one. My suggestion for putting yourself in situations where you'll meet a partner is to try dancing. I've been doing tango, salsa and swing for years, and met my fiance at a salsa class. It's great fun, an opportunity to get dressed up (without the stress of going on a date), a safe place to touch and be touched wihout it being sexual, and a way to meet lots of new people.
2. Enjoy singlehood while it lasts! Couplehood means compromise. I miss sleeping alone, making decisions all by myself, not having to cook or clean up after someone, etc. You won't be alone forever, so enjoy the good things about singlehood while it lasts.