I watched Troy on Wed night and I wasn't impressed. All the war and fighting was a long drawn-out affair. I mean, granted the actual Trojan War lasted 10 years, but still.
Also, something must be very wrong with me - Pitt's Achilles didn't turn me on.
Everyone's raving about Brad Pitt, but I think the attractive one in Troy is Eric Bana's ruggedly handsome Hector.
In terms of physique, I don't think Bana lost out to Pitt in any way. Granted, Pitt's bod was fantastic. Divinely sculpted. Rippling muscles. But Bana's was just as good and I prefer Bana's dark looks. I've never had a thing for blondes.
Achilles' renegade attitude didn't appeal to me one bit. The character's one arrogant prick.
Prince Hector, on the other hand, is my type of guy. He's strong, stoic, loyal, wise, sensitive and he's the perfect son, husband & father. *swoon* Give Hector to me!!!!
I've also concluded that Orlando Bloom is a one-hit wonder. Apart from wielding the bow and arrow with great dexterity, he can't do very much else. In Troy as Prince Paris, he's also an archer à la Legolas in LOTR.
Prince Paris is one pathetic lover-boy to Helen. Bloom's so wooden in his acting that if I were Helen, I would have offered to be Hector's second wife instead upon laying eyes on him. Paris is an annoying character - such a wimp! His only saving grace is that he shows a bit of grit at the end of the film.
The Helen-Paris romance was cheesy to say the least. The lines spouted were tacky and the chemistry between the two thespians was non-existent. Helen, played by Diane Kruger, was pretty enough, but in a rather vacuous way. Orlando Bloom should just stick to his long blonde tresses in LOTR. The Greek hairstyle doesn't work on him.
I also fear that I may be becoming a cynic. I have a friend who cried while watching the film. I was waiting for a scene(s) to make my eyes water but the moment never came. There were some touching scenes (which I won't describe in case I spoil the film for anyone who hasn't watched it), but not moving enough to wring tears.
In addition, the music reminds me too much of Gladiator. James Horner's composition with the female singer's melancholic voice which comes on ever so often is a rip-off from Hans Zimmerman.
As for the battle scenes, if you've seen LOTR: Return of the King, the ones in Troy pale in comparison.
So there you have the DSD's bimbotic take on Troy. Go here to read a more detailed review by my friend Monkey.
Posted by DSD at May 28, 2004 1:05 AM