*dimsumdolly* - the different morsels of the life of a foodie

Another Take On History

After making her debut on the small screen, the Dolly now wants to conquer the big screen and put her stamp on celluloid. Her big screen debut will be in the movie Crouching Dolly, Hidden Dragon.

Setting: The State of Qin (秦) during the Warring States Period of ancient China (475 - 221 BC) aka 战国时代

An ancient scroll harbouring the secret recipe of the famous egg tarts sold by Xianyang city's (the capital of Qin state) most popular inn has been stolen. The innkeeper, Overacuppa, is distraught and seeks the help of her good friend the 点心娃娃 aka the DimSumDolly to retrieve the scroll.

The Dolly is a free-spirited swordswoman or a 侠女, as is more popularly known in kungfu flicks, who pleads allegiance to no one, and comes and go at her own will.

In view of the Dolly's recent dabblings with calligraphy, she earns her keep by writing food reviews after making her rounds at the taverns and inns around Xianyang. Her pen or rather brush, is indeed mightier than the sword. Her one-foot long calligraphy brush's tip is so sharp that it slices through her enemies' flesh when wield. Like an octopus, the brush is also able to spew ink to drive enemies away.

Dolly decides to enlist the help of her sworn brother Monkey in her quest to retrieve the scroll. Monkey, nicely rested from his sabbathical after an arduous Journey to the West is all raring to go. I would presume he's much happier escorting a hot-blooded Dolly as compared to a celibate monk.

Dressed in long-flowing chiffon white robes bellowing around her like a floating cloud, the Dolly's benign appearance is a perfect foil to the swordswoman who lies beneath.

As Dolly and Monkey proceed in their quest, they are joined by a few others. First up is a Hindi-spewing white envoy from India, otherwise known as Chungking. The sight of Chungking leaves Dolly and Monkey baffled as they have never come across a white man from India before. Monkey, even after his foray into India while obtaining the scriptures, had never encountered such a person. They conclude that he's one of the baddies and start to draw their brush and cudgel, ready to attack.

Then Chungking starts speaking in Cantonese hurriedly to clear the misunderstanding. Soon, all three are speaking like they have known each other forever and Chungking decides to join them on their quest.

While having dimsum at a tavern, the three of them make the acquaintance of a travelling swordsman known as UrbanNomad. True to his moniker, he wanders from city to city within the Warring States and avoids the countryside. Sensing adventure, he also decides to join the recipe-hunting possé.

And of course the Dolly has to have some romance along the way. At one point, she has a fling with the ruggedly handsome scion of a tavern-franchise proprietor. Her lover-boy will be played by the winner of the programme "Dolly's Eye for the Straight Guy" (part of the prize is a speaking part in this film). It would be best if he came as yummy as Chang Chen did in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

To cut the story short, the search for the ancient scroll leads the four of them to the Imperial Palace of the State of Qin. They have discovered that Ying Zheng, the king of Qin, had actually ordered the theft 'cos he wants the recipe for himself. He wants to use these egg tarts as a bribe to convince the rulers and the people of the other eight states to pledge allegiance to him. Yes, they're THAT good.

Through one of Monkey's bright ideas and the use of his 72 transfigurations, the possé manages to seek an audience with Ying Zheng to ask for a redress.

Dolly, with her devil-may-care attitude, ticks the Ying Zheng off for his despicable doing. Impressed by her bravado, he gets a silly idea that he wants to have her as a concubine. Horrified by the idea, Dolly gets her friend Victor the imperial advisor to talk Ying Zheng out of it. This imperial advisor thankfully does a good job in dissuading the king by saying that the Dolly would deplete the state's food resources in no time with her penchant for dimsum. Otiose, the court jester, then makes light of the situation by portraying the Dolly as a dim and dumb swordswoman in one of his nightly entertainment skits.

Anyway, the Dolly manages to make Ying Zheng see his folly and convinces him to return the ancient scroll to Overacuppa. Overacuppa's inn is then tasked to produce enough egg tarts to distribute to the rulers and people of the other eight states.

As you will know from history, Ying Zheng did manage to unite all the Warring States to what we now know as 中国 (ZhongGuo). So really, all credit's due to the egg tarts.

Posted by DSD at April 7, 2004 1:38 AM | TrackBack