*dimsumdolly* - the different morsels of the life of a foodie

Low/High Maintenance

Going by the June 2003 issue of GQ, I'm a Low-Maintenance kinda gal. I've come to realise that men's magazines like GQ are actually pretty interesting to read. Anyway, page 235 lists 25 signs for guys to gauge if the lady in their life is Low/High-Maintenance. I thought I'd just put the list here just for fun:

25 Signs she is Low-Maintenance:

1) She eats anything. (That's me! Well, I eat almost anything.)
2) She doesn't keep a journal. (NA - I've kept a journal since I was 12.)
3) She doesn't talk baby talk. (Pet peeve of mine.)
4) She can navigate for you - and she knows how to read a map. (eerrrr....maybe not...I'm still perfecting my navigation skills)
5) When you mention camping, she doesn't groan. (Anything to get out of the urban jungle!)
6) She'll never ask a waitress to bring the salad dressing "on the side". (What's salad without dressing??)
7) She happily meets you at parties (in other words, she doesn't require breathlessly attentive chaperoning for her big entrance). [No big entrance to make so no need for a chaperone.]
8) She's asleep when you come home late.
9) When you are tired or tipsy, she offers to drive. (The only logical thing to do if you ask me!)
10) She doesn't mind if you see her before her morning ablutions. (It's all part of the package! )
11) When you travel, she doesn't have to cart her makeup around in a separate bag on wheels that's bigger than a marine's field pack. (Don't have or use a lot of makeup to start off with)
12) She thinks that going out on Valentine's Day and New Year's is overrated.
13) She hates bed-and-breakfasts more than you do.
14) She only screams when she's having fun.
15) She drinks beer from a bottle.
16) She has a nursing degree. (Errr, does a mass communications and teaching diploma count?)
17) She doesn't see the point of sending flowers, since "they just end up dead and in the trash." (Totally disagree 'cos i'm a sucker for flowers.)
18) She's OK with peeing on the side of the road when there's no rest stop in sight for fifty miles. (When Nature calls, Nature calls.)
19) She never says "Hold me."
20) She cleans up after her dog. (I do this everyday for TWO dogs.)
21) She cleans up after you.
22) When she's pissed off, she tells you why. (Why bother bottling it up?)
23) You don't need to make a thirty-minute PowerPoint presentation in order to have sex with her.
24) When the remote isn't working, she knows it the battery. (Duh.)
25) She's not a cat person. (Definitely not! My dogs would get jealous if I were.)

25 Signs she is High-Maintenance:

1) She won't do a summer rental with your friends because it requires sharing a bathroom.
2) For her, complaining is a form of conversation.
3) She won't take public transportation.
4) She travels with her reflexologist.
5) She immediately accepts your offer to drop her at the restaurant while you crisscross the county looking for a parking place.
6) Her idea of a sexy Saturday involves you following her around while she shops.
7) If she has blemishes, she won't go out in public.
8) She won't drink beer.
9) She rips you a new one if you happen to leave her side for more than a minute at a social engagement.
10) She carries her new handbag for one season only, then torches it.
11) She never carries cash.
12) In anticipation of your three-day business trip, she lines up a spa day, a girls' night out, a shopping date and a pajama party during which she and her friends drink Cosmos and watch Sex and the City DVDs.
13) She wears jewellery to the beach.
14) Her dad calls her Princess.
15) She has a purse dog named Dior.
16) She's a failed actress.
17) She likes gin.
18) She speaks with a European accent - even though she grew up in Omaha.
19) Her monthly grooming bills are higher than your car payments.
20) She has more women's magazines in her apartment than she has novels.
21) She has a publicist - even though she doesn't work.
22) All her friends are married to bankers.
23) All her relatives are bankers.
24) Her last three fiances were bankers.
25) She refers to her mother as Bitch Face.

So guys, time to take a tongue-in-cheek look at the lady in your life!